Fall out of love

Breaking up is always difficult for both persons involved , with changing
definition of love youth prefer to continue friendship after they break
up which is fashionably know as *“MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING”* . Mutual
understanding represents something between friendship and courtship. Since
there is no real commitment, these arrangements seem to cause confusion and
pain. Otherwise, it is simply a waste of time and emotion. If you only
want to be friends, then stay friends. If there is a mutual attraction and
interest, then explore the possibility and express your thoughts.

Mutual Understanding is an supposition that you have something together but this *’something’* is not defined so a relationship like this has no security, it could end or break anytime and abruptly because there’s no real commitment, verbal or real agreement on this *’something*’ that both of you is supposed to have.

I say make it official, if you can’t then do away with it.

“I praise loudly, I blame softly.”

The parent-child relationship is cherished with combination of behaviours, feelings, and expectations that are unique to a scrupulous parent and a fastidious child. Of the many different relationships people form over the course of the lifetime, the relationship between parent and child is among the most important. Parents of teenagers or preteens should appreciate these typical struggles with fads, music and other efforts of independence occur in every family. Once they know that, they can relax more and worry less about how their children are "turning out". Chances are they will be just fine, and the challenging teen will grow up to be a dependable adult. 

In the premature years of children lives, parents are the most important figures in their world. Their approval, love and support are vital to children. Subsequently, much of what children do and say is aimed at maintaining that love and approval. As children get older and have more contact with people other than their parents, their behaviours and attitudes are predisposed by other people. Teens are trying to become adults. One of their utmost complications is becoming independent while maintaining a loving relationship with parents. The teen's struggle for independence has become a real problem only when it is viewed by the teen and/or parents as a struggle for control. Adolescence may be a time of heightened bickering and diminished closeness in the parent-child relationship, but most disagreements between parents and young teenagers are over less important matters, and most teenagers and parents agree on the essentials. Both parents and teenagers are experiencing change.

There's a growing conviction among, who work with parents and teens that adult problems contribute equally with teen problems in making these years difficult between parents and children. The changing parent/child relationship is hurdle to cause some problems and stress in all families. Parents can no longer organize every part of their teen's life, but they can keep the communication lines open and be a positive example for their teen to follow. The affection with which mature parents speak of their relationship with their teens is evidence that the struggle to help and let children go is well-waged, for only then will they want to come back. 

“If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and  mystery of the world we live in”
                                                           - Rachel Carson           

A true South Indian gem in Lucknow

Tundey kababs, biryani, sheermal, etc, has competition from vegetarian South Indian cuisine!If there is any cuisine that has given the  Avadhi food some serious competition and that too on home turf, it is the lip-smacking south Indian food.

But then the idli, dosa, vada, sambhar have been tantalising the Lucknowi palate for over  years now. Surprised?  When I set out to find out options in the city for those who love trying something simply southie.

Informs Vijay Mishra, manager of Brindavan (Indira Nagar ),  one of the oldest South Indian joint in the city “he saw the demand for South Indian food and decided to set up shop here. Since then he have been catering to Lucknowites who are fond of traditional Keralite food. The thali they serve is also a big hit more so as it has the variety of authentic dishes from the backwaters of Kerala included in it."

And they have been more than happy in the business as cash registers keep ringing. What is very encouraging is that North Indians do drop in regularly to savour our dishes but South Indian and even tourists visiting Lucknow having heard of our special preparations come to get a taste of  dosa."

Brindavan  serves popular breakfast and lunch joint serving South Indian delicacies from Karnataka. Food  from the different states of South India have their own uniqueness and I was surprised to find that Lucknowites have a taste for more than just idlis and masala dosa."

Brindavan offers specialities from Karnataka like uttapams with seven flavours - stuffings with a red chutney and vegetable juliennes; and also another special dish -  Maharaja dosa .They have a  unique upma made from green gram and garnished with chillies and onions. They are now even trying to introduce more of such novel South Indian delights."

 Vijay Adds "I am so confident as I have seen the eagerness with which customers order the South Indian Thali as they want to savour as many dishes from the South Indian cuisine. The thali has rasam, sweets, papads, idli, upma, veggies and much more, and gives one a chance to try the taste of South in a single platter."

By and large, South Indian cuisine is perhaps the hottest of all Indian food. Meals are centered around rice or rice-based dishes. Rice is combined with Sambaar (a soup-like lentil dish tempered with whole spices and chillies) and rasam (a hot-sour soup like lentil dish), dry and curried vegetables and meat dishes and a host of coconut-based chutneys and poppadums (deep-fried crispy lentil pancakes). South Indians are great lovers of filter coffee.No South Indian meal is complete without rice in some form or other – either boiled rice or Idlis (steamed cakes made from rice batter), Dosas or Uttapams (pancakes made from a batter of rice and lentil flour). Daals (lentils) are also a part of most meals. 

Meals in a jiffy

Hungry  kya? And no time for lunch? For those on the go with little time on their hands, our correspondent Shivangi Rai brings a list of places you can stop by and quickly grab a bite.  Filling, hygienic cheap and so very desi these treats are ideal for students and executives who are busy surfing all over the city.

GOLI – the no. 1 Vada Pav

Mumbai’s  jhakaas  street food Vada Pav comes to the city of Nawabs. Located in the busy Sapru Marg this 100% vegetarian snack is loaded with Calcium, Carbohydrates, proteins, fibre and fats. With outlets in almost 10 states Goli Vada Pav is India’s 1^st ethnic hygienic fast food chain with products made in fully automated ‘HACCP’ certified hands free plant. The menu is exhaustive in this tiny outlet. Apart from the classic Vada Pav there are many variations. Cheese  Vada Pav with cheddar cheese and spice vada combo, Schezwan vada pav with spicy Chinese sauce,  Mix Veg Vada Pav has a wholesome and nutritious mix of vegetables. We especially liked the crispy breading on the vada.

There are also tikkis or patty on the menu. The sabudana tikki with a blend of sago, potatoes and spices is light and suitable for those who are fasting in Navratras.  The palak makkai tikki served with mayonnaise is a delightful combo of corn and spinach blended together with mashed potato. We found the corn in the patty a little chewy though.

The cheese ungli (we thought it was funny) are vegetable, cheese and mixed veg fingers. Goli also serves ice creams and soft drinks.

  With rates ranging from Rs 30 onwards we think Goli no 1 gives a great deal.

Rover’s

The pioneer of food on the go in Lucknow has to be Rover’s. Established in perhaps 1960’s this food joint is located very centrally on Hazratganj. For over four decades Rover’s is the cool place to hang out with buddies. “Rovers par milna !” was and is a catch phrase for the youth of the city. The menu at Rover’s is exhaustive. From Pav Bhaji  , to burgers  and Sarson da Saag te makki di roti in winters Rover’s has it all. But it is the frankies that draws the crowd here.

 Frankie is a kind of Kathi roll.  The flour parantha is layered with egg and then a filling of chicken or mutton is folded in. The vegetarian options have paneer and no egg. A Frankie is a meal by itself. It’s filling and rich. Even if you are ravenous one frankie with a cup of piping hot coffee or a Cola is just enough. The service is brisk. Waiters attend on you while you are in your car. We found the filling delicious but gooey with too much oil. So if grab a bite on the go is in your mind, watch out for the dribbles! Frankies for Rs 40 to 60 and burgers from Rs 30 to 70 Rover’s is wallet friendly and still a hot favourite of school kids , the youth and those in hurry!

BAGHI BALIA BABA’S BAATI CHOKHA

This street food from the east of UP is something to check out! Oil free, nutritious and full of fibre priced at Rs 5 to 10 this bati chokha outlet is both delicious and paisa vasool!

Little balls of whole wheat flour stuffed with sattu (which incidentally is a summer coolant) baked on slow fire, served with mashed potatoes and roasted eggplant bharta is an ideal lunch for the diet conscious. The mashed potatoes and baigan bharta is more like a spicy salad with chopped raw onions, coriander leaves and green chillies.   Those who wish to indulge themselves the ghee soaked version of the batti are also available. It is interesting though that Baghi Ballia Baba’s baati chokha is not sold from a shop but from mobile vans. Parked strategically opposite Nehru Bhawan on Ashok Marg, near the health directorate in Kaiserbagh and near wave multiplex they attract office goers with many choosing to eat here rather than bring dabbas from home. Batti straight from the oven, the flavour of roasted eggplants and potatoes is something one should experience to believe!

 So next time when you think of swinging your car/bike into a drive through counter of an international food chain, remember there are healthier and desi options also available!

A truly Nawabi treat- Makkhan Malai

Makkhan Malai, a rare speciality from Lucknow is sold during the winter. Makkhan Malai is sold by vendors in a round glass-covered carts. This  light-weight, melt in the mouth sweet is surely the lightest Indian dessert. This cardamom flavoured whipped cream, Makhan Malai  aso known as Nimish is sold at Gol Darwaza in Chowk.

Makkhan Malai sold by Ramakant Mishra from the past 10 years at Gol Darwaza in Chowk market is well known. At dawn when the sun is yet to rise he brings 20kg of Nimish to Gol Darwaza in glass containers and about 9 AM he is sold out! “Some days we get as many as a hundred customers, the sale is brisk in the mornings,” he says.

The process of making Makkhan Malai is also very interesting. Well beaten and frothy milk is kept for the whole night in a thaali on a moonlit night so that dew drops fall into it. Next morning there’s dew on it and it is set in the winter frost, the already frothy milk is then further churned. The light butter that comes from churning is used for the dish. The cream is then whipped with saffron, and dry fruits are added. A platter of Makkhan Malai is then covered with silver varaq.

In days of yore, it is said that Nawab Ghazi-ud-din Haider, a great connoisseur of Awadhi cuisine announced a competition in which a bawarchi who could balance an asharfi (gold coin) on this cream froth was richly rewarded. This recipe was since perfected byrakabdars and bawarchis of the royal kitchen. But with lack of patronage the art of making makkhan malai will soon be extinct. Ramakant Mishra says that this tradition of making this exotic dessert which he learnt from his father will end with him. “I will not want my children to do this,” he says.

Lightly sweet Nimish is very subtle and delicate so much like the temperament of Lakhnawi Nawabs who patronized it. Nazuk andnafees, there is a hint of saffron and cardamom, with none of the flavours dominating. It melts in your mouth. Only slivers of pistachio in your mouth after a helping are what remain to remind you that you just  tasted a spoonful of bliss. 

This Nawabi delicacy which is available only in winters is yours for Rs 15 only for 50 grams served in a leaf dona.